So Close
“Manny told me that he wants to get
married soon but I don’t know. Ma, I know that I love
him and all but sometimes he acts weird, you know? I
don’t like how he comes home late all tired, but I
know I can’t complain about it. He just works real
hard like Pops does. I can’t insult him for being a
man.” Angela spoke to her mother as Angela gazed out
the window in a small, uncomfortable apartment she
shared with the one man she gave her heart to. She had
moved in with Manny relatively quickly after she met
him, and before she knew it, he began to talk of
children, family, and marriage; life long commitments
that Angela wasn’t sure she was ready for, being just
shy of 19 years old. It wasn’t that she questioned
whether or not she loved him to that extent. For
Angela, being without Manny would be like ripping away
her lungs, her heart, her legs, her arms, and every
other part of her body she needed, but would be more
than willing to sacrifice. The reason why she would
reserve herself was simply because of habits. “It’s ok
I guess,” she continued, “Everyone has their baggage
right? When you and dad started out, he did things
that bugged you.”
“Honey, you need to be able to keep your man happy so
you can be
happy. Don’t let little things get to you. They’ll
pass. Don’t worry.”
After Angela had hung up the phone she began
to ponder about how she had treated Manny ever since
they moved in together. She thought about all the
times he came home hungry without even a hot meal to
eat in his own home, the days he would go without
wearing any underwear because she didn’t remember to
dry the load of colors that were in the washer, and
the nights when he would try to hold her close and she
would hesitate, creating a distant void between the
two. As the emotions of guilt and self-loathing began
to subside, Angela decided that tonight would be
different. Tonight, she was going to do something to
make him realize that she was worth his time.
Angela spent hours preparing for Manny to come home.
She spot-cleaned the entire house, gone to the grocery
store to get what she needed for dinner, began to
cook, and then finally went to the bathroom to take a
quick shower. Once she was out, she rushed to the
kitchen to make sure that nothing boiled over, because
then she would have to clean up that mess, setting her
back a few minutes. Everything had to be perfect, from
the food, the table setting, to her nails, down to her
lingerie. As even more hours passed by, things seemed
to fall into place. By 10:30, the time Manny usually
came home at, everything was just how the couple,
especially Manny, liked it.
Angela sat with her legs crossed by the door, waiting
in anticipation. There was no Manny. As anticipation
turned into nervousness, and nervousness turned to
disappointment, Angela began to ask herself, “Why
hasn’t he come home yet. It’s 11 o’clock, damn it. Why
is it that tonight of all nights, he decides to come
home late. I was hoping that just for once he’d do
what he’s supposed to.”
Suddenly, the door creeks open, slowly at first, and
then swings open once Manny realizes that Angela was
sitting right there waiting for him.
“Oh, Honey. Hey,” Manny says hesitantly as he walks
in, wearing a heavy coat buttoned all the way to the
top, even though it wasn’t that cold outside. “What’s
all this for babe?”
“O nothing. Baby I just miss you all day when I’m here
alone. I just wanted to do something nice-“
“Angela, you know that I don’t like surprises. Plus,
why do you pick a night when I’m this tired from work?

“But baby, I did all this for you. I wanted to have
some quality time to spend with you. I feel like I
don’t get enough from you because you’re always out
late.”
“Woman, I’m out late because I’m paying the bills, and
making the money that you spend to get your damn nails
done. Shit Annette, don’t I do enough for you?”
“What? Who’s Annette. I know that isn’t my name. Did
you just call me by another woman’s name?!”
“Angela, Annette same thing. Annette’s my co-worker
and she’s married, you know that, and you know that I
love you and only you. We were just doing some paper
work. God Angela, I’m so tired right now. I can’t take
you being all on my back.” Manny then walked down the
hall, took off his coat in the bedroom, grabbed a pair
of boxers and then hopped in the shower.
Angela sat on the couch, confused and torn. “He does
love me I know he does. He’s just tired,” Angela
repeated to herself as she walked down the same hall
towards their bedroom. She undressed and waited for
Manny to get out of the shower. Once he did, he lifted
the covers and climbed into bed. As Manny attempted to
get close to Angela, she hesitated as she always did.
“C'mon babe. Just let me get close to you.”